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.pdfAnd the smile on the face of the tiger.
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There was an old person of Troy, Whose drink was warm brandy and soy, Which he took with a spoon,
By the light of the moon, In sight of the city of Troy.
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Betty Batter bought some butter But she said, "My butter's bitter. If I put it in my batter,
It will make my batter bitter. If I buy some better butter, It'll make my batter better."
So she bought some better butter And it made her batter better.
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Never trouble trouble Till trouble troubles you, It only doubles trouble And troubles others too.
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Twinkle, twinkle, little star How I wonder what you are Up above the world so high, Like a diamond in the sky.
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Swan swam over the sea, Swim, swan, swim. Swan swam back again, Well swum, swan!
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Little Miss Muffet, Sat on a tuffet, Eating her curds and whey.
There came a big spider, Who sat down beside her
And frightened Miss Muffet away.
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There was an old man of Columbia,
Who was thirsty, and called out for some beer, But they brought it quite hot,
In a small copper pot,
Which disgusted that man of Columbia.
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There was an old person of Cromer, Who stood on one leg to read Homer, When he found he grew stiff,
He jumped over the cliff,
Which concluded that old person of Cromer.
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Hush, little baby, don't say a word, Papa's going to buy you a mocking bird. If the mocking bird doesn't sing,
Papa's going to buy you a diamond ring, If the diamond ring turns to brass, Papa's going to buy you a looking-glass. If the looking glass gets broke,
Papa's going to buy you a billy-goat, If that billy-goat runs away,
Papa's going to buy you another today.
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A flea and a fly in a flue
Were caught so what could they do? Said the fly, "Let us flee!"
"Let us fly", said the flea,
And they flew through a flaw in the flue.
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Why do you cry, Willy, Why do you cry?
Why, Willy? Why, Willy? Why, Willy? Why? Whenever we meet There's a tear in your eye Why, Willy? Why, Willy? Why, Willy? Why?
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If all the world were water, And all the sea were drink,
What should we do for bread and jam? What should we do for drink?
◊ The Vine
V was once a little vine Viny,
Winy,
Twiny,
Viny, Twisty-twiny Little vine.
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Oh, wind, why do you never rest? Wandering, whistling to and fro? Bringing rain out of the west
From the dim north bringing snow?
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Whether the weather be fine, Whether the weather be not, Whether the weather be cold, Whether the weather be hot, We'll weather the weather Whatever the weather Whether we like it or not.
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When the weather is wet, We must not fret,
When the weather is cold, We must not scold.
When the weather is warm, We must not storm,
But be joyful together, Whatever the weather.
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The shoemaker's shop is shut today, Oh, what shall I do with my shoes? The shoemaker's shop is shut, I say. And there are big holes in my shoes.
The holes in my shoes may stop my play, Oh, what shall I do with my shoes?
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There was a young lady of station,
"I love men» was her sole exclamation.
But when men cried, "You flatter!" She replied, "Oh, no matter!"
Isle of Man is the true explanation.
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Thirty thirsty sailors Sipping pop in pint pots, At a seaside shop,
And shaking sandy seashells On saucy seagulls.
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There was a man in our town, And he was wondrous wise,
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He jumped into a bramble bush, And scratched out both his eyes. But when he saw his eyes were out, With all his might and main,
He jumped into another bush, And scratched them in again.
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If I'd as much money as I could spend, I never would try old chairs to mend, Old chairs to mend, old chairs to mend, I never would try old chairs to mend.
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There was an old woman,
And she sold puddings and pies, She went to the mill,
And the dust flew in her eyes, Hot pies and cold pies to sell! Wherever she goes,
You can follow her by the smell.
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Little Lady Lilly lost her lovely locket Lazy little Lucy found the lovely locket Lovely little locket lay in Lucy's pocket Lazy little Lucy lost the lovely locket.
Do you know Mary?
Do you know Mary?
Mary who?
Mary McDonald.
Of course I do.
Do you know her little brother? Yes, of course I do.
I know her brother and her mother and her father too.
Do you know her elder sister? Yes, of course I do.
I know her elder sister Betty and her younger sister Sue.
Do you know her Aunt Ester? Yes, of course I do.
I know her aunts and uncles and her cousins too.
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Do you know her husband Bobby? Yes, of course I do.
I know her husband and his brother and his father too.
Twelve cans of tuna fish
Twelve cans of tuna fish Twelve cans! Twelve cans! Twelve cans of tuna fish. Twelve cans.
How many cans? Twelve, twelve.
Did you say twelve? Yes, I said twelve.
Twelve cans of what? Twelve cans of fish.
Twelve cans of fish? Yes, fish, yes, fish.
What kind of fish?
Tuna, tuna.
Twelve cans of tuna fish? Yes, twelve cans.
Oh, my goodness!
No wonder she’s fat!
How often does she eat Those twelve cans of tuna? How often does she eat
those twelve big cans? Every night, every night.
She eats twelve cans of tuna fish every night. You are kidding!
Oh, my goodness! No wonder she is fat!
That’s a lot of tuna.
It sure is!
That’s too much tuna if you ask me.
It sure is! It sure is! Twelve cans of tuna is a lot of fish If you ask me, if you ask me.
It sure is! It sure is!
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Read the rhyme and practise the rhythm.
The house that Jack built
1.This is the house that Jack built.
2.This is the corn that lay in the house that Jack built.
3.This is the rat that ate the corn that lay in the house that Jack built.
4.This is the cat that killed the rat that ate the corn that lay in the house that Jack built.
5.This is the dog that worried the cat that killed the rat that ate the corn that lay in the house that Jack built.
6.This is the cow with the crumpled horn that tossed the dog that worried the cat that killed the rat that ate the corn that lay in the house that Jack built.
7.This is the maiden all forlorn that milked the cow with the crumpled horn that tossed the dog that worried the cat that killed the rat that ate the corn that lay in the house that Jack built.
8.This is the man all tattered and torn that kissed the maiden all forlorn that milked the cow with the crumpled horn that tossed the dog that worried the cat that killed the rat that ate the corn that lay in the house that Jack built.
9.This is the priest all shaven and shorn that married the man all tattered and torn that kissed the maiden all forlorn that milked the cow with the crumpled horn that tossed the dog that worried the cat that killed the rat that ate the corn that lay in the house that Jack built.
10.This is the cock that crowed in the morn and woke the priest all shaven and shorn that married the man all tattered and torn that kissed the maiden all forlorn that milked the cow with the crumpled horn that tossed the dog that worried the cat that killed the rat that ate the corn that lay in the house that Jack built.
11.This is the farmer who sowed the corn and owned the cock that crowed in the morn that woke the priest all shaven and shorn that married the man all tattered and torn that kissed the maiden all forlorn that milked the cow with the crumpled horn that tossed the dog that worried the cat that killed the rat that ate the corn that lay in the house that Jack built.
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Poems by Roald Dahl
Read, intone and learn the rhymes. Dramatize the fairy tails.
CINDERELLA
I guess you think you know this story.
You don’t. The real one’s much more gory.
The phoney one, the one you know, Was cooked up years and years ago. And made to sound all soft and sappy, Just to keep the children happy.
Mind you, they got the first bit right, The bit where, in the dead of night, The Ugly Sisters, jewels and all Departed for the Palace Ball,
While darling little Cinderella, Was locked up in a slimy cellar,
Where rats who wanted things to eat, Began to nibble at her feet.
She bellowed ‘Help!’ and ‘Let me out!’
The Magic Fairy heard the shout. Appearing in a blaze of light,
She said ‘My dear, are you all right?’ ‘All right?!’, cried Cindy, ‘Can’t you see I feel as rotten as can be!’
She beat her fist against the wall,
And shouted ‘Get me to the ball!
There is a disco at the Palace!
The rest have gone and I am jealous! I want a dress! I want a coach!
And earrings and a diamond brooch! And silver slippers, two of those! And lovely nylon panty hose!
Done up like that I guarantee
The handsome Prince will fall for me!’ The Fairy said ‘Hang on a tick.’
She gave her wand a mighty flick And quickly in no time at all, Cindy was at the Palace ball.
It made the Ugly Sisters wince
To see her dancing with the Prince. She held him very tight and pressed Herself against his manly chest.
The Prince himself was turned to pulp,
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All he could do was gasp and gulp.
Then midnight struck. She shouted ‘Heck! I’ve got to run to save my neck!’
The Prince cried ‘No! Alas! Alack!’
He grabbed her dress to hold her back
As Cindy shouted ‘Let me go!’
The dress was ripped from head to toe. She ran out in her underwear,
And lost one slipper on the stair. The prince was on it like a dart, He pressed it to his pounding heart,
‘The girl this slipper fits’, he cried, ‘Tomorrow morn will be my bride! I’ll visit every house in town
Until I’ve tracked the maiden down!’
Then rather carelessly, I fear, He placed it on crate of beer.
At once , one of the Ugly Sisters
(the one whose face was blotched with blisters) Sneaked up and grabbed the dainty shoe,
And quickly flushed it down the loo, Then in its place she calmly put
The slipper from her own left foot. Ah-ha, you see, the plot grows thicker,
And Cindy’s luck starts looking sicker.
Next day, the Prince went charging down To knock on all the doors in town.
In every house, the tension grew Who was the owner of the shoe? The shoe was long and very wide. (a normal foot got lost inside) Also it smelled a wee bit icky
(the owner’s feet were hot and sticky)
Thousand of eager people came To try it on, but all in vain. Now came the Ugly Sisters go.
One tried it on. The Prince screamed, ‘No!’ But she screamed, ‘Yes! It fits! Whoopee! So now you’ve got to marry me!’
The Prince went white from ear to ear.
He muttered, ‘Let me out of here.’
‘Oh, no, you don’t! You’ve made a vow! There’s no way you can back out now!’ ‘Off with her head!’, the Prince roared back.
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They chopped it off with one big whack. This pleased the Prince. He smiled and said,
‘She’s prettier without her head! ’
Then up came Sister number two,
Who yelled, ‘Now I will try the shoe!’ ‘Try this instead!’, the Prince yelled back. He swung his trusty sword and smackHer head went crashing to the ground.
It bounced a bit and rolled around. In the kitchen, peeling spuds, Cinderella heard the thuds
Of bouncing heads upon the floor,
And poked her own head round the door.
‘What’s the racket?’, Cindy cried.
‘Mind your own bizz’, the Prince replied. Poor Cindy’s heart was torn to shreds.
‘My Prince!’, she thought, ‘He chops off heads!’
How could I marry anyone
Who does that sort of thing for fun!
The Prince cried, ‘Who’s this dirty slut? Off with her nut! Off with her nut!’
Just then, all in a blaze of light, The Magic Fairy hove in sight,
Her magic wand went swoosh and swich1
‘Cindy!’, she cried, ‘come make a wish!
Wish anything and have no doubt
That it will make it come about!’ Cindy answered, ‘Oh, kind Fairy,
This time I shall be more wary. No more Princes, no more money I have had my taste of honey
I’m wishing for a decent man.
They are hard to find. D’you think you can?’
Within a minute Cinderella Was married to a lovely fellow, A simple jam-maker by trade,
Who sold good home-made marmalade.
Their house was filled with smiles and laughter And they were happy ever after.
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TELEVISION - Poem by Roald Dahl
The most important thing we've learned, So far as children are concerned,
Is never, NEVER, NEVER let Them near your television set -- Or better still, just don't install The idiotic thing at all.
In almost every house we've been,
We've watched them gaping at the screen. They loll and slop and lounge about,
And stare until their eyes pop out. (Last week in someone's place we saw A dozen eyeballs on the floor.)
They sit and stare and stare and sit Until they're hypnotised by it, Until they're absolutely drunk With all that shocking ghastly junk.
Oh yes, we know it keeps them still, They don't climb out the window sill, They never fight or kick or punch, They leave you free to cook the lunch And wash the dishes in the sink -- But did you ever stop to think,
To wonder just exactly what This does to your beloved tot?
IT ROTS THE SENSE IN THE HEAD! IT KILLS IMAGINATION DEAD!
IT CLOGS AND CLUTTERS UP THE MIND! IT MAKES A CHILD SO DULL AND BLIND HE CAN NO LONGER UNDERSTAND
A FANTASY, A FAIRYLAND!
HIS BRAIN BECOMES AS SOFT AS CHEESE! HIS POWERS OF THINKING RUST AND FREEZE! HE CANNOT THINK -- HE ONLY SEES!
'All right!' you'll cry. 'All right!' you'll say, 'But if we take the set away,
What shall we do to entertain
Our darling children? Please explain!' We'll answer this by asking you, 'What used the darling ones to do?
'How used they keep themselves contented Before this monster was invented?'
Have you forgotten? Don't you know? We'll say it very loud and slow:
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